10 Principles For Healthy and Productive Collaboration
Adapted from “Principles: Life and Work”
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Recognize that getting in sync is a two-way responsibility. It is not only the responsibility of the meeting organizer to explain their reasoning, it is also the responsibility of everybody to make sure they understand. That means attentively listening, recognizing any gaps in your understanding, and asking questions.
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Don’t treat suggestions and questions the same as criticism. Asking questions to ensure someone hasn’t overlooked something isn’t the same as saying that they have overlooked something. (“watch out for the ice” vs. “you’re being careless and not looking out for the ice”).
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Make it clear who is directing a meeting and whom it is meant to serve. Every meeting should be aimed at achieving a specific goal. Aimless meetings run the risk of being directionless and unproductive.
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Be precise in what you’re talking about to avoid confusion. Try to scope the discussion by laying a clear boundary. For example, give examples of what is not being discussed to create contrast. If possible, repeat a specific question that needs to be answered.
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Watch out for “topic slip.” Topic slip is random drifting from topic to topic without achieving completion on any of them. Send out a clear agenda before the meeting and write notes to track the discussion as it relates to the agenda.
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Utilize the “two-minute rule” to avoid persistent interruptions. To maintain order and respect, allow everybody two-minutes of uninterrupted speaking time before attempting to interject, and use that time to really listen instead of formulating your own ideas or responses.
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Avoid accidental fast-talking. Some people’s brains are wired to think and speak very quickly and assertively. We accidentally push our agenda past people’s examinations or objections. If someone is fast-talking, say something like “sorry, I am having trouble following, can you slow down so I can make sense of what you’re saying?”
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Don’t pay as much attention to people’s conclusions as to the reasoning that lead them to their conclusions. It is common for meetings to consist of people sharing their conclusion. Instead, focus on the reasoning behind those conclusions. It weeds out confidently expressed fallacious opinions.
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Achieve completion in conversations. End meetings by restating the conclusion loudly. If agreement was reached, say it, if agreement was not reached, say that. When further action is required, get a list of follow-up tasks and assign them to people.
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Don’t let the little things divide you when your agreement on the big things should bind you. Becoming upset over small differences is called narcissism of small differences. Don’t let them get in the way of appreciating that we are all united and aligned under a larger vision.